“You can choose your attitude, so choose a good one.”
Coming from anyone else, that statement might sound a little cliché. But coming from a man who just had a malignant brain tumor removed from his head, the words carry weight.
For Matt Allen and his wife, Kelly, keeping a positive attitude isn’t a platitude dutifully recited in front of their children. It’s a daily choice. It’s a choice that has carried them through decades of marriage and a recent medical crisis.
Matt and Kelly have made peace with the fact that they can’t always change their circumstances. But they refuse to relinquish control over how they respond to these circumstances.
In marriage, as in life, attitude matters. But attitude isn’t everything in a marriage. Along the way, the Allens have figured out a few other mainstays for making a relationship work. The concepts aren’t necessarily difficult, but living them out can be. So what is essential in a healthy relationship according to the Allens?
Perspective helps. A particular vision helps Kelly during difficult times: “I was always able to see Matt and I as this little old couple sitting on a park bench. When things are bugging me, I think… Will I still care about this when we’re sitting on that park bench? If not, then let it go. But if I will, then it is worth talking through.”
The Allens also understand that the goal of communication is to get your point across, not to win. What is worth winning to Matt and Kelly is a solid relationship, a happy family and healthy future.
Despite a life-threatening challenge, the Allens know they have a lot working in their favor: the support of their friends and family, their love for each other and their positive outlook. So Kelly and Matt are clinging to their vision of a little old couple sitting on a park bench, reflecting on lives well lived and well loved.