What sustains a relationship over 17 years?
For Glenn and Evelyn Gibson, the key has been coffee and conversation.
Their relationship steeped for six long months, spending hours in coffee shops getting to know each other. “After all that coffee, we were best friends,” Evelyn said. “It was easy to fall in love with him because he became my friend first.”
The communication skills mastered during those talks became essential when it came to blending their two families. Glenn entered the relationship with four grown children and Evelyn brought with her three younger daughters.
It wasn’t always easy. Although Evelyn’s daughters welcomed Glenn into their home, they didn’t initially welcome his new role in their lives.
Evelyn established her position early on insisting, “No, he is not your biological father. No, you don’t necessarily have to love him, but you must respect him because he is part of our family as the head of the household.” And out of that respect, the girls have learned to truly love him as a father.
The girls also have witnessed a ritual that affirms Glenn’s love for their mother—after all these years, Glenn and Evelyn still spend the first 45 minutes of their day together, chatting and drinking coffee.
“Although my stepfather has long since retired,” said Evelyn’s daughter Rhameka, “he still wakes up with my mother every day before she leaves for work to share a pot of coffee, discuss current events, and to ensure that she is prepared for work.”
Along with their morning coffee, Glenn and Evelyn mark each day with lots of hugs and kisses. “We had seen incidences where people left going to work, never returned home, and didn’t get a kiss before they left,” Glenn said “So we always kiss every time we meet or leave each other.”
So what makes a happy marriage? For Glenn and Evelyn, it has been common interests, a common faith and an uncommon commitment to really communicate.
“Nobody can read your mind,” Glenn said, “You might think they can, but they can’t. So say what you want and see if you get it. Then if you don’t, go on to something else.”
Glenn and Evelyn know life is too short to hold on to grudges. Time, they know, is better spent sipping a warm cup of coffee, conversing with your best friend.