Siobhan and Jay were both stationed in South Korea when they met. “I was a mechanic, and she was an electrical technician; we worked on the same vehicle that carried rocket launchers…one day I asked her out, and she asked me to church, and I said yes,” remembers Jay. “We wound up spending every Sunday together, and it took off from there.” The Gowers spent the first year of marriage living on separate Army bases – one in Georgia, the other in North Carolina. “We spent every weekend traveling to see the other,” laughs Siobhan, “But we had the best time…it was easy and breezy.”
The young couple then enlisted to serve in Germany, and within a year, their son Daniel was born. “This was the first major challenge and the first shift in our marriage,” said Jay. “Our time wasn’t shared anymore… all of my attention was focused on the baby,” explains Siobhan. “We didn’t know how to deal with sleepless nights and the stress of a newborn.”
Then they got the news – their unit was deploying to Iraq. “Many of the other wives and spouses in the unit went back to the states, but I still had a job to do in Germany (as a Rear Detachment Commander of the unit),” said Siobhan. “As a soldier, everyone has an idea that because you’re a woman, you are supposed to be tough and strong so you’re somehow separated from what a normal woman feels, and that’s just not the way it is. My feelings were very real; my husband was in Iraq… I was taking care of a baby, and my job was to take care of other spouses whose husbands were in Iraq…it was really tough, but it was really helpful for me as well.”
Having the ability to communicate during the deployment by phone and email made a big difference in getting through the deployment. “Being able to talk to each other, even if only for a couple of minutes made everything bearable,” said Jay. “It kept us connected. It was a very hard time…but we made it through.”
After safely returning from Iraq, Jay re-enlisted and requested to be stationed at Ft. Sill while Siobhan chose to leave the Army. Since then, Jay has left the Army and is working on a degree in mechanical engineering and Siobhan is completing a master’s degree in Human Relations and continues to serve in the Army Reserves.
Even though they have faced months, even years, of separation due to mobilizations and deployments, the Gowers credit their successful 11-year marriage to a deep love for each other, a commitment to their relationship, tremendous friends and family support, and always finding a church in their community.